The Connecticut Tragedy - Our Heart Goes Out To You - In Love: From Humorous Findings

We are so sorry for your loss

The Connecticut Tragedy

No words can express the pain of losing a child through violence.

The trauma, the heartbreak, the brokenness and the anger.

To never hear your child's laugh again, to never be able to hug them or comfort them.

To live a lifetime without them would be the most unbearable reality to have to face.

Lord, comfort the victims of the Connecticut tragedy.

Let their hearts know that their children are held in your loving arms.

Protect the children of our country and turn our nations heart back to you.

We know that this life is only a vapor and we will see these dear children again.

Lord, protect our children from the influences of this world that lead to this kind of violence.

Shelter the innocent heart of our children.

My church and my family will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

Our hearts a sorrowful for all the victims of this horrific crime.

November 15th, 2012

Susan Nikitenko

 

Something To Sing

Sleigh Bells Funny

Sing to the tune of "Sleigh Bells Ring/Winter Wonderland":

(Verse 1)
Sleigh bells ring? It’s tinnitus
What's that pain? My arthritis.
We're both growing old - You're grey-haired, I'm bald –
Using walkers in the winter once again.

(Verse 2)
When we try watching TV:
"Turn it up! Can't you hear me?"
We don't like the shows, but that's how it goes,
We feel about a century too old.

(bridge)
In the kitchen: "What did I come here for?"
Guess I'll go ahead and make a snack.
"Have you seen my glasses?" "Shut the fridge door!"
"If you use my dentures, could you give them back?"

(Verse 3)
Early on, we retire,
Eating prunes by the fire.
We've had a great life;
We're husband and wife.
"Tell me what your name is once again?"

Copyright 2011 Bill DiGennaro. Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.

 Mikey's Funnies

Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN ...

 

 

YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN ...

...you find yourself standing next to your car with your
keys in your hand, but you can't remember whether you're
going somewhere or you just got back.

...you walk out to the parking lot of the mall, and not only
did you forget where you parked, but you also forgot what
car you were driving.

...your daughter takes you out to dinner, and the cashier
takes one look and gives you both senior discounts.

...everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

...you reach down to pull up your wrinkled stockings and
realize you don't have any on.

...when you raise your arm, and you find your "muscle" is
now on the bottom side.

...when you have as students the grandchildren of your
former students.

...when you sit down to the breakfast table, and the snap,
crackle, pop you hear isn't your breakfast cereal.

...when you bend over to tie your shoes and ask yourself,
"Is there anything else I need to do while I'm down here?"

"Inside every old person is a young one wondering what happened.

 

The SONSHINE BULLETIN

 

Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.

HOW TO CONFUSE SANTA CLAUS

HOW TO CONFUSE SANTA CLAUS

Part 1

~ Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.

~ While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.

~ Leave him a note explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.

~ While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.

~ Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!

~ Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas" and "Go away Santa."

~ Leave a note by the telephone telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.

~ Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until that huge cake arrives.

~ While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.

~ Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. :)" Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa.

HOW TO CONFUSE SANTA CLAUS

Part 2

~ Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."

~ Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.

~ While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.

~ Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.

~ Leave Santa a note explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.

~ Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.

~ Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.

~ Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.

~ Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."

http://www.mikeysfunnies.com/archive/20121017/

Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.

THE TWELVE DAYS OF FAST FOOD

THE TWELVE DAYS OF FAST FOOD

On the first day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me: A Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the second day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:  Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the third day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the sixth day of Christmas,

My drive through gave to me:
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Eleven pounds of blubber,
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Twelve bags of Pepto,
Eleven pounds of blubber,
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with Cheese

 Mikey's Funnies
http://www.mikeysfunnies.com/archive/20121017/

 

Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.