How the Grinch Stole Missionary Books
Author Unknown.
Every whosoever down in Whosoeverville liked Missions a lot
And the Grinch liked Missions, but not every part.
The Grinch dislike reading books, the whole thing about reading.
Please don’t ask why, no one knows quite the reason.
It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right,
Or it could be his sneakers were too tight!
I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his eyesight was not quite up to par.
But whatever the reason—his eyes or his shoes—
He lived around Whosoeverville and knew all those Whos.
He knew that in rain, sleet, sunshine or snow.
Whosoevers would still like to go
Get together and worship the Lord.
He knew when they’re together they’re never bored
For there’s singing and praying and preaching to do
The things that the Grinch like to do too.
He gave in the offerings to God and his work
For spreading the gospel would always come first.
They hammered their dulcimers and played their Who trumpets
And often you’d find them eating Who crumpets.
The kids loved to come too and make lots of noise,
Learn about Jesus and play with their toys.
And the fun—well, you never saw such a crowd!
Hey, does the Manual say that’s allowed?!
Oh, yes, and the Missions service was no exception to that,
For you’d never know what (name of local NMI president) would pull out of (his/her) hat!
The Grinch just loved it, except for one thing,
Read a missions book? You’ve gotta be kidding!
Then he got an idea—an awful idea!
The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea!
“I’ll break into the library and take every book,
I’ll hide them so they won’t know where to look!”
So one day when the little Whosoevers were snoozing,
And (insert name of church secretary) must have been out talking to (insert somebody’s name),
The Grinch found the key, slid it into the lock,
Went through the door and took one look at the clock.
Two minutes, I tell you, that’s all that it took,
To take every last Missions reading book!
He took all the tapes too, and can you believe it?
He took all the kid’s books, just at the last minute!
He checked down the hall, saw no one in sight,
Shut the door and turned out the light.
Little (insert name of kid at church) who had come out for a soda,
He saw the Grinch and said, “Whoa!
Where are you going with all those books in a bag?
Put them back now or my mom will be mad!”
But you know that Grinch was so smart and so slick,
He thought of a line and he thought of it quick.
“No, (name of church kid) dear, you don’t understand!
I’m the new church librarian!
I’m taking these books home to sort and to stack,
Now, don’t, (name of church kid), they’ll all come back.”
And with that, off he went in his Grinchymobile
Off out of sight, out over the hill.
So he took the books home and packed them away.
“Now, that’s the end of that,” he said.
But when he thought of what he had done,
He wondered shy the Whosoevers had so much fun,
Checking out the books week after week,
Well, it certainly won’t hurt, “I’ll just take a peek.”
And would you believe it, before he knew it,
He had read one missionary book, the whole way through it!
He read about snakes and dogs without tails,
Building of churches without any nails!
He stood to his feet and cried, “What should I do?
I’ll take them all back so more Whos can read too!”
The very next Sunday all things looked just the same,
But that day the Grinch took back his old name.
Now some say this story just couldn’t be true,
But (name of kid at church) told me. So I believe it, too.
“Who was this?” you ask. So now I will tell you.
You certainly know him; yet this may surprise you.
He’s no longer called the Grinch,
Today we affectionately call him Pastor . . .
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