❄️ M. Moose, Esq.: “My Official Statement on Snow”
Comic
Comic‑Style Monologue, Complete With Dramatic Flair
Panel 1 — Close‑up on M. Moose’s face, eyes wide, snowflakes landing on his snout
“Snow,” I declare, “is nature’s way of reminding us that the world is both beautiful… and mildly inconvenient.”
Each flake lands on my nose like a tiny frozen insult. I blink. It melts. I blink again. Another one replaces it. This is my life now.
Panel 2 — M. Moose trudging through deep drifts, legs disappearing like he’s wading through whipped cream
I step forward.
I sink.
I step again.
I sink deeper.
At this point, I’m not walking — I’m participating in an unsolicited lower‑body workout. My thighs burn with the fire of a thousand suns. My dignity? Frostbitten.
Panel 3 — M. Moose looking up at the sky, snow swirling like a glittery blizzard ballet
But then… I look up.
And the snow is sparkling.
Every flake is a tiny masterpiece, a little icy sermon about God’s creativity.
The whole forest glows like it’s been dipped in powdered sugar.
Even my antlers glisten, which I consider a personal win.
Panel 4 — M. Moose dramatically shivering, icicles hanging from his antlers like chandelier earrings
Do I enjoy the cold
— the kind that sneaks into your bones and sets up a long‑term lease?
No.
But do I admire the aesthetic?
Absolutely.
I look like a walking winter centerpiece from a fancy lodge gift shop.
Panel 5 — M. Moose spotting Marla Moose in the distance, heart-shaped steam puffs rising from his breath
And then…
There she is.
Marla Moose.
Standing in the snow like a Hallmark heroine with perfect fur volume.
Suddenly the snow doesn’t feel cold at all.
My heart floats up like a helium balloon.
My eyes go full googly mode.
I am, in a word, compromised.
Panel 6 — M. Moose slipping on ice, legs everywhere, but smiling like a fool
I attempt to walk toward her.
I immediately slip.
I perform a triple‑axel that would earn at least an A+ on America’s Got Talent.
I land in a snowbank.
She laughs.
I decide winter is my favorite season.
Panel 7 — M. Moose and Marla walking together through sparkling snow
Snow crunches under our hooves.
The world is quiet, soft, holy.
The trees wear white robes.
The air smells like pine and possibility.
And I think:
“Behold, winter is wondrous… especially when shared.”
