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Proverbs 17:22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine:

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Humorous Findings In My Treasure Box

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The Connecticut Tragedy - Our Heart Goes Out To You - In Love: From Humorous Findings

We are so sorry for your loss

The Connecticut Tragedy

No words can express the pain of losing a child through violence.
The trauma, the heartbreak, the brokenness and the anger.

To never hear your child's laugh again, to never be able to hug them or comfort them.

To live a lifetime without them would be the most unbearable reality to have to face.


Lord, comfort the victims of the Connecticut tragedy.

Let their hearts know that their children are held in your loving arms.

Protect the children of our country and turn our nations heart back to you.

We know that this life is only a vapor and we will see these dear children again.
Lord, protect our children from the influences of this world that lead to this kind of violence.
Shelter the innocent heart of our children.
My church and my family will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
Our hearts a sorrowful for all the victims of this horrific crime.
November 15th, 2012

Susan Nikitenko

 

Something To Sing


Sleigh Bells Funny



Sing to the tune of "Sleigh Bells Ring/Winter Wonderland":

(Verse 1)
Sleigh bells ring? It’s tinnitus
What's that pain? My arthritis.
We're both growing old - You're grey-haired, I'm bald –
Using walkers in the winter once again.

(Verse 2)
When we try watching TV:
"Turn it up! Can't you hear me?"
We don't like the shows, but that's how it goes,
We feel about a century too old.

(bridge)
In the kitchen: "What did I come here for?"
Guess I'll go ahead and make a snack.
"Have you seen my glasses?" "Shut the fridge door!"
"If you use my dentures, could you give them back?"

(Verse 3)
Early on, we retire,
Eating prunes by the fire.
We've had a great life;
We're husband and wife.
"Tell me what your name is once again?"

Copyright 2011 Bill DiGennaro. Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.


 Mikey's Funnies

Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN ...

 
 
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN ...

...you find yourself standing next to your car with your
keys in your hand, but you can't remember whether you're
going somewhere or you just got back.

...you walk out to the parking lot of the mall, and not only
did you forget where you parked, but you also forgot what
car you were driving.

...your daughter takes you out to dinner, and the cashier
takes one look and gives you both senior discounts.

...everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

...you reach down to pull up your wrinkled stockings and
realize you don't have any on.

...when you raise your arm, and you find your "muscle" is
now on the bottom side.

...when you have as students the grandchildren of your
former students.

...when you sit down to the breakfast table, and the snap,
crackle, pop you hear isn't your breakfast cereal.

...when you bend over to tie your shoes and ask yourself,
"Is there anything else I need to do while I'm down here?"

"Inside every old person is a young one wondering what happened.
 
The SONSHINE BULLETIN
 
Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.

HOW TO CONFUSE SANTA CLAUS

HOW TO CONFUSE SANTA CLAUS


Part 1

~ Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.

~ While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.

~ Leave him a note explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.

~ While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.

~ Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!

~ Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas" and "Go away Santa."

~ Leave a note by the telephone telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.

~ Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until that huge cake arrives.

~ While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.

~ Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. :)" Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa.



HOW TO CONFUSE SANTA CLAUS
Part 2

~ Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."

~ Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.

~ While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.

~ Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.

~ Leave Santa a note explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.

~ Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.

~ Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.

~ Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.

~ Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."



Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.

THE TWELVE DAYS OF FAST FOOD


THE TWELVE DAYS OF FAST FOOD

On the first day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me: A Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the second day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:  Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the third day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Eleven pounds of blubber,
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Twelve bags of Pepto,
Eleven pounds of blubber,
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with Cheese
 
Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.

The Fair



The Fair

a little humor



 
 
Gourds and pumpkins, apples too;
A fall  festivity.
Corn and stalks, hay bale blocks;
Displays of artistry.
 
All around are fairground sounds;
And everywhere you go.
There are people wandering;
Enjoying rides and shows.
 
Venders treats and meats galore;
 They're smells are in the air.
Not to mention cows and sheep;
You'll find the barnyard there.
 
Aunt Betty's blue ribbon pie;
It won again this year.
Children from the 4H group;
Are running here and there.
 
Pens and pencils, paper pads;
mints and fingernail files.
Commercial  booths,  handouts;
It seems they go for miles.
 
Gifts and gadgets are for sale;
But some things are for free.
Just  like the spinal screening;
That was offered to me.
 
Politicians shake your hand;
And give a pleasant grin.
Then you get a plastic bag;
To put your free stuff in.
 
High above the ground you see;
The giant ferris wheel .
And hear screaming from  the rides;
That give your heart a thrill.
 
Cotton candy is the best;
But I've had to say no.
Though I really love it;
I just don't need to grow.
 
When I was a little girl;
Around seven or so.
I was given a small book;
A yellow smile aglow.
 
Though it was a little thing;
A seed was planted here.
I remember to this day;
That someone really cared.
 
You get tired at the fair;
Exhausted from the fun.
But you have fond memories;
When all is said and done.
 
 Susan Y Nikitenko
September 4th, 2011
 
 
 
It's been a while since I've ridden any rides at the fair.  The majority of my time is giving out the gospel message along with my family. But one of theses days I'll go just for the rides and the
car derby. 
 
There is so much I could say about the fair.  I can say, the most exciting thing about the fair is when I get to witness to others about Jesus.  When you see the light come on in their eyes.  When they understand for the first time how much Jesus really does love them.  That's the best time ever.  Because your heart rejoices.
 
Question:
Someone told me the smile book  has been around for fifty years or so.  I just assumed they were right.
Does anyone know for sure how long Amazing Grace Missions has been giving out those little books? 



 
 
 
Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link Back To This Blog. Thank-You.

The Prodigal Son Retold





THE PRODIGAL SON RETOLD

Feeling footloose, fancy-free and frisky, this feather-brained fellow finagled his fond father into forking over his fortune. Forthwith, he fled for foreign fields and frittered his farthings feasting fabulously with fair-weathered friends.

Finally, facing famine, and fleeced by his fellows in folly, he found himself a feed flinger in a filthy farmlot. He fain would have filled his frame with foraged food from the fodder fragments.

"Fooey! My father's flunkies fare far fancier" the frazzled fugitive fumed feverishly, frankly facing fact.

Frustrated from failure and filled with forebodings, he fled for his family. Falling at his father's feet, he floundered forlornly. "Father, I have flunked and fruitlessly forfeited further family favors."

But the faithful father, forestalling further flinching, frantically flagged his flunkies to set forth the finest fatling and fix a feast.

The fugitive's fault-finding frater, faithfully farming his father's fields for free, frowned at this fickle forgiveness of formal falderal. His fury flashed, but fussing was futile.

His foresighted father figured, "Such filial fidelity is fine, but what forbids fervent festivities? The fugitive is found! Unfurl the flags! With fanfare flaring, let fun, frolic and frivolity flow freely, former failures forgotten and folly forsaken. Forgiveness forms a firm foundation for future fortitude."


Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.

"It's So Hot That..." | HUMOR - Inspirational and Christian

"It's So Hot That..." | HUMOR - Inspirational and Christian






It's So Hot That...
Here in Arizona we've had something of a heat wave and a drought going since back in March. Several people have joked about July arriving in the Month of May this year. We've broken high temps on two days this week.

It's so hot that...

  1. ...the radiator on your car is boiling over and you haven't even started the engine yet.
  2. ...the birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.
  3. ...farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
  4. ...the cows are giving evaporated milk.
  5. ...you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
  6. ...the temperature drops below 100, you enjoy the cool spell.
  7. ...you discover that it takes only 2 fingers to drive a car.
  8. ...you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window tinting.
  9. ...you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
  10. ...hot water now comes out of both taps.
  11. ...it's noon, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out in the street.
  12. ...you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. to head for work.
  13. ...the local bakery hasn't had to turn on their ovens for a week.
  14. ...You can cook breakfast on your driveway instead of in the kitchen.
  15. ...You have no idea whey they call it "Dry Idea" Deodorant.
  16. ...You don't have to go to KFC to get Fried Chicken, just put it on the hood of your car on the way home form the supermarket.
  17. ...the temperature in your house is 105 degrees, but your H/VAC service guy says your air conditioner is functioning properly.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'TheSermonFodderguy' (Sermon_Fodder@yahoogroups.com) ]
 
http://www.skywriting.net/

Ain't - Cute Poem




 Ain't - a poem of perspective He was just a little boy, On the week's first day. Wandering home from Bible school, And dawdling on the way.

Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link Back To This Blog. Thank-You.

Creation Funny




Creation Funny

In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.

And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."

And God said, "Let there be light" and there was light.

And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit."

And God saw that it was good.

And the Devil said, "There goes the neighborhood."

And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own image; male and female did He create.

And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit.

And the Devil said, "I know how I can get back in this game."

God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. And the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man: "You want fries with that?" And Man said: "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. And the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds. And Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.

And God sent heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to woo them. And the Devil brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds. And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds.

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream dip. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Man went into cardiac arrest. And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. And the Devil canceled Man's health insurance.

And God created the life-giving tofu. And Woman ventured forth into the land of Godiva Chocolate and upon returning asked Man: "Do I look fat?"

And Man told the truth. And Woman went out from the presence of Man and dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage counselor.

And Woman put aside the seeds of the earth and took unto herself comfort food. And God brought forth Weight Watchers. It didn't help. And God created exercise machines with easy payments. And man brought forth his Visa at 21 percent. And the exercise machine went to dwell in the closet of Nod, east of the polyester leisure suit. And in the fullness of time, Woman received the exercise machine from Man in the property settlement.

It didn't help her, either.

today'sTHOT============================

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.


Mickey's funnies



Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.

Mrs Butterworth

Follow The Link-

Mrs Butterworth: Strangers and pilgrims on the earth Not as famous as Mrs. Butterworth Not as strong as Mr. Clean Cannot sing like Jimmy Dean Who am I? I ask myself

Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary

Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary




It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news:
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly.
He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess
Twinkies and Captain Crunch.
The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven.
He is also survived by his elderly father Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes





Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.

The Pillsbury Doughboy Has Passed Away

The Pillsbury Doughboy
Has Passed Away

Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

If this made you smile for even a brief second, please rise to the occasion and take time to pass it on and share that smile with someone else who may be having a crumby day and kneads it.



Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.

Mr. Clean Is Officially In The Bible

\



Our family was gathered for our nightly bible reading when we noticed that -------

Mr. Clean is officially In  the Bible...
Leviticus 13:40
And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.

Susan Y Nikitenko
March 25th, 2012



Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.

Brian's Squirrel Story



Brian's Squirrel Story

Brian was doing some garden work and happened to find a squirrel's stash of walnuts.  The squirrel had gathered them for the winter and left them together in one spot.  Brian took one by one and tossed them from His garden to another location.  Brian planted some  onions in a nice straight row.  When he woke up the next morning, Brian  went out to look at His garden He found that the squirrel in response had dug up all His onions and left them tossed about.  He felt the squirrel was getting even for throwing out His walnuts.  He said the war was on between Him  and that pesky squirrel.

Susan Y Nikitenko
March 25th,2012



Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.

Being A Team



Being A Team

During a game, the coach asked one of his young players: "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"Do you understand that what matters is winning together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you are out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"

Again, the boy nodded yes.

"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother."


Mikey's Funnies


Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.

A Key Funny

Source: areaware.com via Kaela on Pinterest

A Key Funny


Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My wife, Diane, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the doors of the church, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately call the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered. I always call her "honey" in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard Diane's voice. "Ken" she barked, "I dropped you off!"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."

Diane retorted, "I will, as soon as I can convince this policeman that I did not steal your car!!!"



Mikey's Funnies






Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.

The Lost Easter Egg - Pastor Greg Baker



The Lost Easter Egg

By: Pastor Greg Baker

Easter. A word, a holiday, that ought to conjure up images of the resurrection of Jesus Christ, but for me, an eight year old boy living in Phoenix Arizona, I thought of only one thing: Easter Egg Hunt.
Like most typical boys, dressing up for Easter church services had about as much appeal as being asked to kiss one's sister for the cuteness factor of a family photo. But mom insisted that we at least look presentable at church--although being from a church going family, I didn't see the big deal of dressing up extra special for this one particular service. But I was willing, if for nothing else to get the whole thing over with so we could get to the really fun business of hunting for Easter eggs.
This year we would be going to my Grandfather's Dairy for the hunt. My grandparents lived practically next door to the Salt River on the west side of Phoenix and had lots of room to hide Easter Eggs. So as soon as church let out, I practically dragged my parents to the truck. "Let's go! Let's go!" my young insistent voice repeated over and over. In this, I was not alone. My younger brother's voice, Kevin, joined mine with equal fervor.
The Dairy held many wonders for us city boys, but upon arrival, my brother and I had eyes for only one thing: the huge yard surrounding our Grandparent's house. We began to immediately peek about trying to spot any flashes of color that would indicate the location of the coveted eggs. We spotted some right away and I began calculating how I could get to all of them first.
Dad noticed our furtive glances. "Wait until everyone is ready," he warned. He indicated the house. "Go straight into the house. Go on. Get moving."
Dashing ahead, my brother and I deserted our parents for the house and to hopefully expedite the beginning of the hunt. Grandma and Grandpa greeted us warmly and our cousin, Destiny--looking about as impatient as I felt--asked, "Can we start now?"
I liked the sound of that! Grandma, a short woman with red hair, looked over us like a mother hen. She waited for my parents to enter the room and then laid down the rules. "There are fifty eggs hidden in the yard. Stay in the fenced area, do not jump the fence, and..." she looked meaningfully at me, "no fighting."
I heard only two words: fifty eggs! Now, you must understand, these eggs were authentic hard boiled eggs, dipped in food coloring dye and, in many cases, hand painted with colorful designs. I had seen some of them already. I knew which ones I wanted and figured they would be much harder to find--especially if either my devious father or grandfather had any hand in the hiding. I determined to be the one to find them.
Seeing the eagerness on our three young faces, Grandma relented. "Go find them!"
We tore through the kitchen, into the breezeway and then sped outside. Instantly our three pairs of eyes lighted on a yellow egg partially hidden near one of the swing set legs. All three of us ran toward it mob style. Destiny yelled, "I saw it first!" Kevin, the youngest of us, realizing I would reach the egg before them, peeled off in search of easier pickings.
I scooped up the yellow egg, deposited it in my basket, and without so much as a backwards glance ran off in search of more. Destiny's wail of outrage followed me around the house.
And so it went. We hunted high, climbing up tree trunks, fences, and anything else where we might uncover a colorful egg. We hunted low, crawling through shrubs, under tables, and digging through the dirt. Eventually, we gathered back near the swing set and counted our eggs.
Of the fifty we had found forty-nine. Well that started a massive egg hunt that even pulled the six or seven adults into the search. We found nothing. I don't recall exactly how long we looked, but we never did find it.
Time passed and that elusive Easter Egg continued to bother me. Occasionally, throughout the following year our family would visit the Dairy. For the first few times, I made a stab of locating that shy egg. Still didn't find it. And eventually, we all forgot about it.
The next Easter, however, a similar pattern as the previous year developed. My brother, cousin, and myself found ourselves once again all set to pick my Grandparent's yard apart in search of eggs. Grandma announced, "There are fifty eggs! Go find them!" We did, searching like mad for as many eggs as possible.
At length, we all gathered back near a picnic table to count eggs. We counted them and I couldn't believe it. "There are fifty-one eggs!" I exclaimed.
"Fifty-one?" Grandma inquired. "There should only be fifty!"
I grew more excited, suddenly recalling the missing egg from the year previous. "We missed one last year!" I reminded everyone. "We found it!"
"Impossible," Dad disagreed. "Something would have eaten it by now."
We rummaged through the eggs and found one very old, very faded egg. "Here it is!" I held it up for everyone to see. Sure enough, an old battered egg that clearly had seen better days lay visible in the palm of my hand. Still, it took a few amazed and incredulous adults recounting the eggs to verify the count, before all were convinced. I remember everyone shaking their heads in astonishment and one of the adults trying to calculate the odds of this strange event. One lost egg found exactly one year later during another Easter Egg hunt--amazing!
In thinking back on this story, I may, to a very small degree, begin to relate to how the disciples of Jesus Christ must have felt when Jesus was resurrected from the grave. Imagine how terrified and alone they felt upon believing their Lord and Friend had been killed--lost to them forever. Just like my Easter egg. But then finding him alive, returned from the grave so unexpectedly must have filled them with awe and wonder.
For many, it is just a story--a good one, perhaps, but just a story. For those of us who are Christians, it is verification and vindication of God's acceptance of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross for our sins. It is the embodiment of our eternal life. But it must have been much more for the disciples.
They lost Him, thought Him gone forever. For thousands of years the Messiah had been prophesied to the Jewish people. They knew who Jesus was--and then lost Him. Yet when He stood before them in His resurrected body, I imagine the astonishment, joy, and wonder washed over them like a tidal wave.
I hope all of us will look at the Resurrection of Jesus Christ a bit differently this Easter, especially when you see your children hunting for a lost Easter Egg. I know I do.
Luke 15:24 - For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.


Author Resource:->  Greg S. Baker is a Pastor, Counselor, and Author specializing in building and strengthening relationships.

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Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.




Sin Still Stinks! 1-24-12 ~ louis gander



Sin Still Stinks! 1-24-12:


BASED ON A TRUE STORY
during gooseberry picking season, 1934
as told to me by my mother, Ruth.
---

On our old North Clayton farmstead -
my brother, sister, I -
were picking berries with our mom,
when brother caught my eye.

In each our hands, a bucket with,
our minds on all our work.
We each were very diligent
'til brother went berserk.

Wisconsin's early summer brought us
many ripe gooseberries -
but never could we match what mom,
within her bucket carried.

God's trees stretched high above our heads,
His briers pulled our clothes -
yet creek ran faithful, north to south -
while heat, with sun, had rose.

You may not know our brother yet,
but all of us could tell,
that trouble followed him around
and knew him very well.

He said, "Look at this big kitten!"
He poked it with a stick -
but when it turned and raised its tail,
our mother shouted quick.

Although it wasn't humorous,
we giggled in our fun.
But when mom said it was a skunk -
we sure knew how to run!

Now sin can sure deceive us.
It's fun, this world thinks -
but it is not to play with so,
remember, sin still stinks!

©2012 louis gander ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.