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Proverbs 17:22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine:

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"It's So Hot That..." | HUMOR - Inspirational and Christian

"It's So Hot That..." | HUMOR - Inspirational and Christian






It's So Hot That...
Here in Arizona we've had something of a heat wave and a drought going since back in March. Several people have joked about July arriving in the Month of May this year. We've broken high temps on two days this week.

It's so hot that...

  1. ...the radiator on your car is boiling over and you haven't even started the engine yet.
  2. ...the birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.
  3. ...farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
  4. ...the cows are giving evaporated milk.
  5. ...you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
  6. ...the temperature drops below 100, you enjoy the cool spell.
  7. ...you discover that it takes only 2 fingers to drive a car.
  8. ...you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window tinting.
  9. ...you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
  10. ...hot water now comes out of both taps.
  11. ...it's noon, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out in the street.
  12. ...you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. to head for work.
  13. ...the local bakery hasn't had to turn on their ovens for a week.
  14. ...You can cook breakfast on your driveway instead of in the kitchen.
  15. ...You have no idea whey they call it "Dry Idea" Deodorant.
  16. ...You don't have to go to KFC to get Fried Chicken, just put it on the hood of your car on the way home form the supermarket.
  17. ...the temperature in your house is 105 degrees, but your H/VAC service guy says your air conditioner is functioning properly.
[ Author Unknown -- from 'TheSermonFodderguy' (Sermon_Fodder@yahoogroups.com) ]
 
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Ain't - Cute Poem




 Ain't - a poem of perspective He was just a little boy, On the week's first day. Wandering home from Bible school, And dawdling on the way.

Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link Back To This Blog. Thank-You.

Creation Funny




Creation Funny

In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.

And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."

And God said, "Let there be light" and there was light.

And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit."

And God saw that it was good.

And the Devil said, "There goes the neighborhood."

And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own image; male and female did He create.

And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit.

And the Devil said, "I know how I can get back in this game."

God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. And the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man: "You want fries with that?" And Man said: "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. And the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds. And Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.

And God sent heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to woo them. And the Devil brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds. And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds.

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream dip. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Man went into cardiac arrest. And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. And the Devil canceled Man's health insurance.

And God created the life-giving tofu. And Woman ventured forth into the land of Godiva Chocolate and upon returning asked Man: "Do I look fat?"

And Man told the truth. And Woman went out from the presence of Man and dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage counselor.

And Woman put aside the seeds of the earth and took unto herself comfort food. And God brought forth Weight Watchers. It didn't help. And God created exercise machines with easy payments. And man brought forth his Visa at 21 percent. And the exercise machine went to dwell in the closet of Nod, east of the polyester leisure suit. And in the fullness of time, Woman received the exercise machine from Man in the property settlement.

It didn't help her, either.

today'sTHOT============================

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.


Mickey's funnies



Poetry And Other Materials On This Site Can Be Freely Used For Christian Bible Centered Non-Profit Ministries And must Remain Unchanged In Any Way. All Other Purposes Are With Permission Only. You May Make Requests At "treasurebox18@yahoo.com" All my poems with stories are both real and fictional designed to illustrate a biblical truth. All Rights Reserved. Please Include Site Name And Link To This Blog. Thank-You.

Mrs Butterworth

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Mrs Butterworth: Strangers and pilgrims on the earth Not as famous as Mrs. Butterworth Not as strong as Mr. Clean Cannot sing like Jimmy Dean Who am I? I ask myself